Counting Down to May 1

Last year at this time we had just moved into our new  home, were surrounded by moving boxes, and were painting to make the house exterior look less Addams family-esque so the neighbors wouldn’t hate us. This year we’re still working our way through the heliconia jungle next to our kitchen patio and working down my schedule at that store which shall not be named. I gave notice at the beginning of the week and have 8 work days left as of this writing.

In a couple of weeks we’ll bring the RV to the house for a good wash and wax and begin prepping for the summer’s adventures. Meanwhile the down-the-rabbit-hole experience that is working with the retail public continues to present me with joyous writing fodder.

When I was a kid, say Kindergarten through 4th or 5th grade my parents sent me to school in dress slacks. Denim pants were called dungarees as the term “blue jeans” hadn’t yet been invented and were seldom seen in school. Today I see people of all ages walk through the store at all hours wearing pajama pants!

Some people seem to look sneeringly at the employees of the store. I’ve experienced it myself a few times. I was walking back to my area from the main store printer when a customer intercepted me to tell me, “I need you to come with me. Push that cart.” She was gesturing toward one of the two shopping carts she was pushing. “I need you to put my water, toilet paper, and paper towels in this cart while I continue shopping, ” she instructed. More recently another customer summoned me by whistling and motioning me toward her with her hand. We were 40 feet from the televisions. She wanted to know, “How much is that TV?” All the TVs have prices on the displays. But I wasn’t sure which TV she meant from that distance. She acted like I was stupid when I asked which TV. “That one where everyone is standing,” she said with an air of ‘don’t you know anything?!’

My all time favorite retail experience really has nothing to do with the customers. We need to keep our display phones looking good so we had a bag of microfiber cloths for wiping them down. Eventually the cloths became pretty grungy to the point where they have the same  effect on the phones as New York City street corner window washers have on  your windshield when you tell them no. So I asked my supervisor about getting clean cloths. The next day she sent everyone a full page email explaining how to obtain new cloths. The following day another full page email appeared with corrections to the procedure.

You can’t make this stuff up.

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2 Responses to Counting Down to May 1

  1. teh says:

    I would pay money to hear your response to the come hither and push my cart lady.

  2. Curtis says:

    They all know you’re from New York – they’re treating you like family!